today was a good day. tonight was a good night.
ive reached a milestone in my life i felt like adding to the xanga. its not just that im 20 but its that i just finished my sophomore year of college. where has the time gone? we're already done with half of college folks. (emmy and steve excluded cos they're special people - love you guys!)
freshman year you learn the ropes. sophomore year you learn who your real friends are and you make a few more. you've figured out how everything works. all the loop holes. all the corners that can be cut without getting caught. how much booze you can drink in one night without vomiting or waking up with a hangover. i spent alot of time watching people and learning about them and myself. ive come out better for it in the end.
i finished my last final at 11:03am today. it was civil war with J Ron Spencer. good guy. enjoys his cheesy history jokes a little too much. i pulled an all nighter to study for the exam, something ive never done in college. ive always been able to get atleast 2 or 3 hours sleep at the least. im going to miss alot of people this summer and i feel sad that words dont do enough to express how much i will. especially when goodbyes are completely cliche.
::hug:: its been real. stay in touch. have a good summer. i'll miss you.
it didn't hit me until i was driving home on I-84 how much i am really going to miss alot of people. too many of my friends are going abroad in the fall too. i wont see some of them until january 2007. a few are even leaving for an entire year. i wont see them until september 2007. thats 15 months. i counted it on my fingers and toes so im positive.
as i drove home i wished id been able to express how much im actually going to miss these people. i try to make myself feel better by saying, "oh you dont even see so-and-so that often, it wont be a big deal. but the simple fact they are close by, within walking distance if i need them, or even if i see them once a week outside my window or i run into them in mather and just make small talk, makes a difference and becomes part of my life and my experience.
they say you never realize what you had until its gone. i wish it werent true but sometimes it is.
i calm myself knowing its not truly gone. nothing ever is. its simply on hiatus. and when we all return in the fall or spring or even the fall after that, its gonna be amazing, and i look forward to it every day until then.
"all my bags are packed, im ready to go
im standing here, outside your door
i hate to wake you up, to say goodbye
so kiss me and smile for me
tell me that you'll wait for me
hold me like you'll never let me go
cos im leaving on a jetplane
i dont know when i'll be back again
oh babe, i hate to go"
miss you. see you soon. | 
